I am a lover of natural light and photography is an ongoing and consuming passion.
Showing 129 posts tagged Thoughts
Hello Tumblr. I’m still alive. Life lately has been a series of early morning commutes to work, handling nerves, talking to so many people, and surviving the cut throat life of the corporate world. That explains why I haven’t been updating that much. And whenever I’m on tumblr, I’m only active on my crazy alter-ego reblog blog.
My 9-5 work right now doesn’t allow me to be as creative as I used to be. After a mugging incident that happened to me not so long ago, I’m afraid to always bring my dslr with me. 
And then I realized that the best camera is the one that’s with you. That’s why I turned to mobile photography as a release. I can still be as creative but with less megapixels. 
I try to take at least one photo per day on my instagram, just so I can keep my creativity and sanity afloat. 
It’s so hard to give up something that I want to be only because my reality doesn’t allow me to be that kind of person. But I know all hope isn’t gone. At least I have a smaller more handy camera with me.

Hello Tumblr. I’m still alive. Life lately has been a series of early morning commutes to work, handling nerves, talking to so many people, and surviving the cut throat life of the corporate world. That explains why I haven’t been updating that much. And whenever I’m on tumblr, I’m only active on my crazy alter-ego reblog blog.

My 9-5 work right now doesn’t allow me to be as creative as I used to be. After a mugging incident that happened to me not so long ago, I’m afraid to always bring my dslr with me. 

And then I realized that the best camera is the one that’s with you. That’s why I turned to mobile photography as a release. I can still be as creative but with less megapixels. 

I try to take at least one photo per day on my instagram, just so I can keep my creativity and sanity afloat.

It’s so hard to give up something that I want to be only because my reality doesn’t allow me to be that kind of person. But I know all hope isn’t gone. At least I have a smaller more handy camera with me.



The End

The past few days have been very rough for me. I have been through break up’s way too many times, but going through all these emotions again is never easy. I wrote this because I would have wanted to have a real conversation with you, but I suppose you don’t want that sort of drama anymore after you cut me off from everything. I just need an outlet to pour my heart out.

Our relationship was the best I had with anyone. Despite all the emotional baggage, the bitterness and my cynical thoughts about love, you taught me that I am never defined by my past relationships. Before we met, I always thought of myself as used goods. But when you told me that you wanted to be with me, you made me feel so special. As the days went by, you made me feel that you really did love me and I learned to love you more and more, unconditionally. Every time I told you that I love you, I really meant it. And when I got the same from you, I believed it. It was the best feeling I have ever had. Even though we did not agree on a lot of things, we supported each other’s dreams and goals. We made it work. And because of that you made believe that we might actually go all way.

However, on the last few months of our relationship, I have seen you change. You were always busy, uninterested and you always had an excuse for everything. What’s worse is that I did not even exist in some parts of your life anymore. Then I end up believing all those excuses and then I blame myself for everything because I feel like I fell short of being a good boyfriend to you.

But something happened inside me that made me decide that I have had enough. I needed to do something to keep this relationship going. And because of that, you said that I became a monster, a monster desperate for your time and attention. Even though I hate to admit it, but it’s true. You made me in to that kind of person. And I allowed myself to become that kind of person. I tried my best to make it work, but I realized that this relationship is never going anywhere if you continue to trample over my feelings for you again and again.

We were both at fault. And it was a dead end relationship. So I had to break up with you. It was a hard decision to make because even though the situation we had called for a break up, I still had genuine feelings for you.

Moving on is so hard when I am always reminded of you. It’s so hard to feel happy and whole when all I feel right now is this huge hole in my life that’s been unrightfully taken away. And I hate it because I miss you all the time even though I try so hard to forget you. I begin and end my day crying my heart out because I never wanted to lose you and now I can’t do anything because you’re gone. All I ever did was love you, although sometimes a bit too much. And it hurts. That’s why my heart is broken.

But just recently, I finally decided to really move on. When I last talked to you, I felt so stupid when I told you how I still feel about you. But you just bluntly told me that you have actually moved on and that you do not want anything to do with me anymore. You even had the nerve to tell me to never talk to you again. I’m so gutted because I can’t understand how you can just instantly forget all the time we had spent together. I know trying to work out our relationship is the last thing on your mind. And I won’t force you. There’s really no point in trying when you don’t even to make this work. However, I never expected this from you.

But you know what, even though that was not the closure that I want. It was the closure that I need. I can safely say that I did everything in my power to make this work. I can even feel better about myself knowing that it was you who did not want this anymore. And I can finally move on with this because I did my best, swallowed my pride, and I never gave up without fighting for this until the very end. However, I know my feelings for you won’t go away instantly, as with the pain from the break up, but I know I’ll get over this soon.

Thank you Harris for the 23 months we had together. I could have never known that I am capable of loving someone that much if not for you. Thank you for making me go through all those emotions. Thank you for making me feel that kind of love. Thank you so much for everything.

Even though I still love you, even though I still had plans for us, and even though it breaks my heart, I’m letting you go.



"We told each other we should get coffee sometime, but didn’t exchange our new numbers. We knew we weren’t going to see each other again."

"We told each other we should get coffee sometime, but didn’t exchange our new numbers. We knew we weren’t going to see each other again."



Life lately has been a series of uneventful episodes. I hope this waiting game pays off very soon. Thinking about the future can be very daunting, but I know the universe will conspire.

Life lately has been a series of uneventful episodes. I hope this waiting game pays off very soon. Thinking about the future can be very daunting, but I know the universe will conspire.



Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You

After what he revealed to the world, this song means so much more to me now because I’m able to relate to this song in its truest sense. To know that we’re the same age, and we experienced the pangs of heartache from a boy also at the same age really connected me to him and his music. Opening up about something very personal like unrequited love, let alone his sexuality, speaks a lot about his courage and bravery. And because of that, I am more empowered and proud to be who I really am. I finally have someone my age, and someone who’s like me, to look up to. I have nothing but respect and love for his fearlessness and amazing talent. He is my hero.



Coasting Along
The thing with this blog is I don’t write about other things. I’m not even a specific kind of “blogger.” I just write about myself. And lately, I’ve ran out of words to say. I’ve just been coasting along, watching everyone else share about their oh so wonderful lives. I’m not motivated enough to do anything besides working on my thesis. All this downtime is alarming. And I’m starting to think that I’m in the middle of a quarter life crisis. I feel like I have thrown away so much time just to do one thing. But I know this is all for the best. I’m just thankful that I still have him in my life (11 months and counting) because I don’t know how I’ll “coast along” without him. I know this will all turn around very soon, once I’m done with grad school. I have so much plans for summer and I want to be creative and productive again. But I know everything has its own time.

Coasting Along

The thing with this blog is I don’t write about other things. I’m not even a specific kind of “blogger.” I just write about myself. And lately, I’ve ran out of words to say. I’ve just been coasting along, watching everyone else share about their oh so wonderful lives. I’m not motivated enough to do anything besides working on my thesis. All this downtime is alarming. And I’m starting to think that I’m in the middle of a quarter life crisis. I feel like I have thrown away so much time just to do one thing. But I know this is all for the best. I’m just thankful that I still have him in my life (11 months and counting) because I don’t know how I’ll “coast along” without him. I know this will all turn around very soon, once I’m done with grad school. I have so much plans for summer and I want to be creative and productive again. But I know everything has its own time.



Out for a Stroll
Lately, the weather permitted me to walk around in pretentious Fall/Winter wear here in the tropical island of Cebu. I needed a little inhalation of fresh damp air to clear my very clouded mind. I was too caught up in the rain and wind to even think of getting an outfit shot. Plus I didn’t want to get my camera wet. I got the sweater at the same place where I got my shoes. So that’s that. Sharing little mundane details of my life can be therapeutic, especially on a time like this.

Out for a Stroll

Lately, the weather permitted me to walk around in pretentious Fall/Winter wear here in the tropical island of Cebu. I needed a little inhalation of fresh damp air to clear my very clouded mind. I was too caught up in the rain and wind to even think of getting an outfit shot. Plus I didn’t want to get my camera wet. I got the sweater at the same place where I got my shoes. So that’s that. Sharing little mundane details of my life can be therapeutic, especially on a time like this.



Haiku #11
i have to let go of what was holding me back yet, I persisted

Haiku #11

i have to let go
of what was holding me back
yet, I persisted



Hello, It’s Been A While…
I guess I have a lot of explaining to do. You may call me a lazy blogger but whatever. I recently quit my call center job, which I never really liked, so I can focus on my thesis and be full time grad student. My working title right now is A Comparative Analysis between Orem’s Theory and Roy’s Model in the Care of a Patient with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus. Hopefully I’ll be able to graduate this April with my Master’s Degree in Nursing that I’ve been working on for almost two years now.
I don’t want to say that I’m in hiatus because it’s not like I’m never going online ever for the next two months. It’s just that lately I’ve been very busy, pressured and stressed out. When I’m online I’m either just on facebook, twitter, looking up Nursing Journals or reading unpublished nursing theses, essays or dissertations, for reference purposes. And I’m also downloading .pdf textbooks so I can be more efficient in doing my thesis. Think copy & paste.
However, the downside to all of this is that I don’t have enough time to take lots of photos anymore. But I’ll make up for it soon. I think another Life Lately post in the near future is in order. I’ve also been working on a lot of things. I can’t wait to share all of them soon. 

Hello, It’s Been A While…

I guess I have a lot of explaining to do. You may call me a lazy blogger but whatever. I recently quit my call center job, which I never really liked, so I can focus on my thesis and be full time grad student. My working title right now is A Comparative Analysis between Orem’s Theory and Roy’s Model in the Care of a Patient with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus. Hopefully I’ll be able to graduate this April with my Master’s Degree in Nursing that I’ve been working on for almost two years now.

I don’t want to say that I’m in hiatus because it’s not like I’m never going online ever for the next two months. It’s just that lately I’ve been very busy, pressured and stressed out. When I’m online I’m either just on facebook, twitter, looking up Nursing Journals or reading unpublished nursing theses, essays or dissertations, for reference purposes. And I’m also downloading .pdf textbooks so I can be more efficient in doing my thesis. Think copy & paste.

However, the downside to all of this is that I don’t have enough time to take lots of photos anymore. But I’ll make up for it soon. I think another Life Lately post in the near future is in order. I’ve also been working on a lot of things. I can’t wait to share all of them soon. 



The Aftershock
This is an aerial shot of Cebu. On February 6, 2012, a magnitude 6.9 earthquake struck here and its neighboring provinces. It happened just 15 minutes before noon. I was still asleep when I suddenly felt my entire room shaking for what felt like the longest and scariest minute of my life. Since I live outside of the city, I thought people would just shrug it out and get on with their lives. But it was a different situation in the city. Apparently, the entire city of Cebu was gripped with panic after false rumors of a supposed tsunami that was already at the shores of Cebu spread throughout the city. It may sound silly for someone who didn’t experience the chaos but I really can’t blame them for acting like that. I mean, they’re only doing that to be safe and to survive. I’m glad Cebu is alright, despite the countless aftershocks that is still happening. But I’m sending all my prayers to our brothers and sisters in Negros who were seriously affected by the earthquake.
But that wasn’t the only thing that shook up. A friend of mine posted something that created an uproar online. It was meant to be a joke but people perceived it the wrong way. Hence, the hate messages and even threats ensued. We can’t really please everybody. And I always believe that Two wrongs can’t make a right. Bullying someone for their comments won’t make any difference. It won’t even make you better person than them.
I’m sure all this drama will die out soon. But we should all realize that there are so many lessons that we can get from the recent events. We should take everything with a grain of salt; orient ourselves with disaster preparedness measures; stay calm and not be quick to judge others. I can only hope that we become better persons after this, and peacefully move on with our lives. Maybe when we look back at this, we can at least laugh and say that we learn so much on that unforgettable February afternoon.

The Aftershock

This is an aerial shot of Cebu. On February 6, 2012, a magnitude 6.9 earthquake struck here and its neighboring provinces. It happened just 15 minutes before noon. I was still asleep when I suddenly felt my entire room shaking for what felt like the longest and scariest minute of my life. Since I live outside of the city, I thought people would just shrug it out and get on with their lives. But it was a different situation in the city. Apparently, the entire city of Cebu was gripped with panic after false rumors of a supposed tsunami that was already at the shores of Cebu spread throughout the city. It may sound silly for someone who didn’t experience the chaos but I really can’t blame them for acting like that. I mean, they’re only doing that to be safe and to survive. I’m glad Cebu is alright, despite the countless aftershocks that is still happening. But I’m sending all my prayers to our brothers and sisters in Negros who were seriously affected by the earthquake.

But that wasn’t the only thing that shook up. A friend of mine posted something that created an uproar online. It was meant to be a joke but people perceived it the wrong way. Hence, the hate messages and even threats ensued. We can’t really please everybody. And I always believe that Two wrongs can’t make a right. Bullying someone for their comments won’t make any difference. It won’t even make you better person than them.

I’m sure all this drama will die out soon. But we should all realize that there are so many lessons that we can get from the recent events. We should take everything with a grain of salt; orient ourselves with disaster preparedness measures; stay calm and not be quick to judge others. I can only hope that we become better persons after this, and peacefully move on with our lives. Maybe when we look back at this, we can at least laugh and say that we learn so much on that unforgettable February afternoon.



Life Lately

Yes, I am still alive. It’s funny when I have to explain why I have been away. I was very busy from work that I mostly spend my mornings and afternoon asleep. For lack of a good writing skill, here is a photo essay of what I have been up to since the I’ve been away.

1. A Beautiful Rainy Morning 2. A few of my favorite Books. 3. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein 4. Richel Reyes 5. Palm Trees 6. Eurasian Tree Sparrow (Passer montanus) 7. Scene of the Crime 8. Pretty Pastry 9. A self portrait of me wherein I am not wearing a shirt whilst I am enjoying the cold rainy day.

P.S. This might become a weekly thing now.
P.P.S. December is my birthday month. I will be accepting Birthday gifts in cash or in kind. You have at least 13 days to do that.



Out of Touch
I would describe the past few days as being very blurry, stale and monotonous, to say the least. And I haven’t been my usual self lately, that it’s hurting some of the relationships I have with other people. 
So I guess this short vacation to my hometown of Bacolod City, is very timely. It would really help clear up my mind. It’s a nice change of environment, and a nice break from routine. Plus the food is better there. Can’t wait to go home.

Out of Touch

I would describe the past few days as being very blurry, stale and monotonous, to say the least. And I haven’t been my usual self lately, that it’s hurting some of the relationships I have with other people. 

So I guess this short vacation to my hometown of Bacolod City, is very timely. It would really help clear up my mind. It’s a nice change of environment, and a nice break from routine. Plus the food is better there. Can’t wait to go home.



Amongst the Waves
Suffice to say that my week has been nothing short of enriching. If I could sum it all up, it would feel like all the important life lessons that I needed came crashing in all together. Like a huge wave. You can either stand your ground and resist the waves. But you’ll still be on the same place, and you can bet that another wave will hit you sooner or later. Or you could just embrace its coming, and let it take you somewhere different. Different may not always be better, but now I learned that choosing to be somewhere different is so much better than resisting change.

Amongst the Waves

Suffice to say that my week has been nothing short of enriching. If I could sum it all up, it would feel like all the important life lessons that I needed came crashing in all together. Like a huge wave. You can either stand your ground and resist the waves. But you’ll still be on the same place, and you can bet that another wave will hit you sooner or later. Or you could just embrace its coming, and let it take you somewhere different. Different may not always be better, but now I learned that choosing to be somewhere different is so much better than resisting change.



Binary Existence
One of my favorite performance by the amazing  Reggie Watts . And I’d like to believe that the performance is purely extemporaneous. But this is not about me doing slam poetry over dubstep beats. It’s more about what he said in the performance. "You pick one side you become the other. the other hates the other. they despise the other for therefore there is the binary existence." 
With that being said and with all the things that are happening in my life right now, I can’t help but feel that some things in my life will forever be inversely proportional. Don’t get me wrong, but I’ve been trying my hardest to balance all the things in my life the best way I could. Let’s digress for a bit, shall we? When I was still in my so called formative years, I always thought that someday I’ll be able to learn how my parents do all the adult stuff that they do like work, have a family, have the money to spend on stuff, make huge decisions and all those kinds of things. I’ve always been waiting for that day when a teacher finally tells us how to live our lives. But it never happened. Growing up I realized that it’ll never happen. And going back to the present situation, I still feel like I’m that kid eagerly waiting for his answers. This is not how I imagined things would unfold. But unfortunately for me, things do not always go as planned. I just hate having to choose one over the other. 
On a lighter note, the shirt I’m wearing above is one of my all time favorite t-shirt design I’ve seen from Artwork. And I’m sorry if I managed to be extremely vague about those two things. I usually keep my problems to myself. That way I don’t have to deal with telling someone and them asking tons of questions and stuff. Hence the undisclosure. 

Binary Existence

One of my favorite performance by the amazing  Reggie Watts . And I’d like to believe that the performance is purely extemporaneous. But this is not about me doing slam poetry over dubstep beats. It’s more about what he said in the performance. "You pick one side you become the other. the other hates the other. they despise the other for therefore there is the binary existence." 

With that being said and with all the things that are happening in my life right now, I can’t help but feel that some things in my life will forever be inversely proportional. Don’t get me wrong, but I’ve been trying my hardest to balance all the things in my life the best way I could. Let’s digress for a bit, shall we? When I was still in my so called formative years, I always thought that someday I’ll be able to learn how my parents do all the adult stuff that they do like work, have a family, have the money to spend on stuff, make huge decisions and all those kinds of things. I’ve always been waiting for that day when a teacher finally tells us how to live our lives. But it never happened. Growing up I realized that it’ll never happen. And going back to the present situation, I still feel like I’m that kid eagerly waiting for his answers. This is not how I imagined things would unfold. But unfortunately for me, things do not always go as planned. I just hate having to choose one over the other. 

On a lighter note, the shirt I’m wearing above is one of my all time favorite t-shirt design I’ve seen from Artwork. And I’m sorry if I managed to be extremely vague about those two things. I usually keep my problems to myself. That way I don’t have to deal with telling someone and them asking tons of questions and stuff. Hence the undisclosure.